We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
