a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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