just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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