What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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