It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
