I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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