its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
