That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize