My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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