Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Rumble strips road head = magical
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
