so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
