3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
