Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
