I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize