ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
