She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
