I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
