there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
