it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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