forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
