We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
