the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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