i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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