I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize