It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
