But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
