is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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