We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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