Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
