Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
