dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
