she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
