i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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