she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
