His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
