I feel like abortions should bother me more
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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