You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
