so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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