just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize