dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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