I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
