just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
