My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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