your room smells of hookers.
And success
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize