He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
