she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
