dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
