Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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