and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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