whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
