My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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