I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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