By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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