Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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