you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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