I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize