Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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