i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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