Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i've created a new STD.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
