Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize