They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
